What is and What Should Never Be
by QueSeraSera
Summary: ...On probably indefinite hiatus. See profile for details. I am so sorry to those who were keeping an eye out for updates.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

What Is and What Should Never Be

            "I don't see what this has to do with my training," said Naruto, deadpanned. The squishy couch he was sitting on was beginning to annoy him in its overt squishiness. This guy was getting on his nerves, and how dare the couch be so… squishy?

            "Hm. Considering you're trying to learn the curse-mark purification jutsu, and your learning it has been approved by the Hokage, this has everything to do with it. Anyone who wants to learn this jutsu needs to go through at _least_ a month of therapy before they can achieve the first stages of it," replied the man sitting in the chair across from him. With his glasses, peppered hair, and neutral aura, he seemed at home in the warm, wood-paneled office. He spoke in a tone that said to Naruto alternately "harmless," "nosy," and "threatening." At the moment the man was being a strange mixture of all three.

            "Ah…" replied Naruto, perplexed. "Don't you have some sort of, um, _physical_ thing I can do?"

            "What did you have in mind?"

            "I don't know, like throwing kunai knives in a super special array or jogging like fifty miles nonstop?" Naruto's voice rose in volume, getting himself pumped up for the thought of it. _That_ was the stuff he could _do_.

            "I'm afraid this doesn't work like that, Naruto. This is purely an internal thing. For this jutsu, you need to be able to let go of some things, and learn to accept others. In spite of the field training your teachers have been giving you, you can't make any progress until you work through some of the things that are keeping you from performing this jutsu. You know all the technical things like hand-signs and such, but what is missing is the state of mind. So, what we are going to be doing here is helping you to get to that state of mind in which you can perform it."

            "Ok, then. Let's do it," said Naruto, like this was the simplest thing in the world. If you are going to do something, then do it. No need for beating around the bush; what a waste of time that could be.

            The therapist smiled gently.

            "Well, that's the thing. Let me put this a bit more simply. The jutsu will only work if you can learn to let go of the ultimate reasons you're learning it. And I can't help you let go of those things until we talk about them. Hence, the _minimum_ daily therapy sessions for a month…" As he spoke, Naruto's face got blanker and blanker, and the therapist's voice trailed off.

            "So… Let me get this straight," said Naruto in a disbelieving monotone, "In order to be able to do this jutsu, I have to forget why I'm learning the jutsu in the first place? And I have to come to therapy for who knows how long until I get it right? Is that what you're telling me?"

            "Uh, yes, in the simplest terms, that's basically it. It's a bit more complicated than it sounds, though…"

            "What kind of freaking crap is this?!" Screamed Naruto, standing with his foot up on the coffee table and his finger pointed over it into the therapist's face. "How does Kakashi-sensei or Pervy-sage expect me to learn anything if I'm not supposed to learn anything in order to learn something?"

            "I wouldn't exactly put it—"

            "Gah, it's making my head hurt!"

            "Hm. Maybe it you would sit down we could start to make some sense of this for you," said the therapist, unruffled by Naruto's outburst.

            "Yes, thank you," he sighed out, relieved.

            "Now, let me explain something. I need you to forget about this being training while you're here." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but the therapist held his hand up, silencing the young ninja. "The reason for this is, you are here for talking. Apparently there are some things you need to work through before you can learn the purification jutsu. Now, that can be anything from past abuse to unresolved sexual orientation," the therapist paused and Naruto took a big swallow. His face spoke volumes: motherfucker god dammit shit shit shit, for example. "Now, both of those tend to take longer to deal with than a mere month, but since you've clearly expressed how important this is to you, are you prepared to see this through as long as it takes?"

            Naruto sat, hesitating, nervous, apprehensive. Did they have to talk about _everything_? But he needed this. He absolutely needed this. There was no dispute about that. So maybe it wouldn't be so bad, anyway. All they had to do was talk, and Naruto had never really had any troubles with that.

            "We just… Talk, right?" He asked, tense.

            "Yep," soothed the therapist. "For the most part, yes."

            The genuine smile did little to assuage his fears.

            He and Sasuke were training. It had begun as a simple sparring match gotten out of hand. And instead of the usual hurried intervention by either Sakura or Kakashi-sensei because of the inevitable damage to the surrounding area, it had degenerated into… this.

            Sasuke dodged a punch, turned to parry, and got a hit – Naruto's fist squarely on his jaw. Naruto stepped back, grinning sheepishly, ready to stop now, but the wind gushed out of him in a spluttered cough. Sasuke had tackled him to the ground, and they fell in a hopeless tangle of limbs. Both struggled to aim a hit, but finding no purchase in the humid heat as their arms and legs slid against each other unsatisfactorily, they simply rolled and elbowed, kneed and grunted through the grass, clouds of dirt puffing up in their path.

            And still they both fought for the win, growling and shoving and then suddenly, they were moving altogether differently than they were before, but no less savagely. The grunts had changed tones, become less fierce and more desperate. Sasuke pushed his hips down on Naruto's, and the two boys groaned at the friction, pausing in the struggle momentarily in the sensation

            As if to keep up some pretence of a spar gone awry, Sasuke leaned back, legs on either side of Naruto, and relished for a moment the fact that he had the advantage now, with a devious grin. He pulled his arm back to aim a punch, and Naruto shoved off the ground into Sasuke, reversing them. But Sasuke refused to let this happen, shoving back; they continued to roll and grunt as the rocks and bumps in the field punched at their already tender flesh, neither aware of the pain. Finally, the struggle ended with Sasuke once again triumphant. This time, he held the blonde's hands above his head, and smiled that smile that could only mean evil intent. Naruto swallowed hard.

            "Sasuke, you fuckhead, what the hell do you think you're doing? Let me go, you win, I get it! Now fucking let me go!"

            Naruto tried to get up again, but was prevented up Sasuke's other arm coming up and blocking off the air in his throat. The raven-haired boy pressed down.

            "Naruto…" he whispered in victory. But no, victory shouldn't sound like that, should it?

            "Sasuke…" Naruto mouthed, unable to let out any air or to breathe any in. "Sasuke, I can't breathe…"

            "The only way to get you to shut up, Dobe…" He panted, semi-apologetic. His hips ground into Naruto's again, in a slow, delicious motion that had Sasuke groaning. Naruto's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head. He'd never been so hard in his entire life, and if there was any way to keep Sasuke doing _that_ right there, he would do it in a heartbeat.

            "Will you behave, Idiot?" He asked, eyes half-lidded.

            Naruto nodded, and sweet air came rushing back into his lungs. He gasped and coughed and Sasuke waited, staring down at him. It occurred to Naruto after his hands were released and Sasuke was biting into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, _hard_, that that particular stare could only ever be seen elsewhere on the face of a wolf or hawk contemplating its next meal.

            "Naruto…" whispered Sasuke, as their hips continued to meet in that delicious rhythm.

            A thrill rushed through Naruto at the sound of his name rolling from those lips so wantonly, and Naruto reached up to clutch at Sasuke's back, pressing them closer together.

            A growl ripped itself through Sasuke's throat, and the rhythm became fast and brutal, and Naruto thrust back mindlessly, out of his control and needy beyond all rational thought.

            "Save me, Dobe, god, save me from myself," Sasuke panted in his ear, and Naruto came.

            He awoke with dirty sheets.

            "So, um… I have a question about that dream diary thingy you told me to do. Ummmm…" Naruto laughed nervously, seated on the god damn stupid squishy couch once again. "Do I have to write down ALL of my dreams?" He asked, unable to hold still for some reason.

            "Well, obviously, you don't _have_ to if you're uncomfortable with it," replied the therapist. Naruto relaxed and let out a breath in relief. "But," Naruto tensed up again. "I did assign you the dream journal so we had a starting point, and so far all you've talked about in the past two sessions have been ramen and special kinds of shuriken you want to get someday but can't afford yet. I think it's safe to say we haven't made any progress. Maybe if we talk about this dream, we could get you a bit further in your training for the curse-mark purification jutsu."

            Naruto was silent, dreading having to talk about his dream, as well as admit the fact that he'd _had_ it in the first place. Wasn't there something twisted about the fact that he _liked_ it when his best friend held him down and practically choked him while they dry-humped each other like animals? What about the fact that Sasuke pleading for Naruto to save him was perhaps the sexiest thing he had ever heard?

            "Ummm… It's uh… really embarrassing," he said sheepishly, and squirmed in the therapist's patient silence. "I don't think I want to talk about it," he muttered finally.

            "That's alright," smiled the therapist, and opened his mouth to begin another topic.

            "I-think-I-have-a-thing-for-guys," Naruto blurted out, interrupting, as if he'd been holding a breath. And after he'd said it, his shoulders slumped and he put his head in his hands.

            "Shit, that explains a lot," Naruto groaned, all of a sudden wanting more than anything—and being unable—to cry.

            "Well, I think that's a good place to begin," the therapist said gently.

(That's it for now, I guess. That seemed like a good place to cut it off. Let me know if you think I should continue via review. I've already got a bit written ahead of time because somehow the idea of putting Naruto through therapy seemed deliciously sadistic to me. So yeah. Let me know. If there are enough reviews I'll post another chapter.)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and therefore do not make any money from this stuff.

Chapter 2

            "I'm going to come at you, Naruto, and I'm not going to hold back. Please _try_ to focus, hmm?" Jiraiya drawled as he eased into a fighting stance.

            Naruto nodded, following suit.

            After it began, Naruto thought he was doing pretty damn well. He'd managed to dodge at least thirty of the blows that Jiraiya aimed at him. That is, until the fight got a little cramped within the confines of the denser trees. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jiraiya's gold nose-stud glitter in the sunlight for the fraction of a second. That was all he could glimpse before he was dodging and parrying like there was no tomorrow. But a well-placed palm in the side got Naruto skidding a few paces, thankfully not hitting any trees, before he recovered and saw a slight sheen of sweat glisten on the white-haired ninja's neck.

            It occurred to him for a split second that Jiraiya was one of the most dangerous ninja in the entire world, and that he was fighting him _right now_.

            His breath caught, and feeling as though something punched him in the gut, a liquid sensation of want, need, and desire flew to his abdomen. Why had he never realized before just _how hot _the Sannin could be when he was taking things seriously? And then Jiraiya punched him in the gut, sending him flying backwards into a tree, breaking it to splinters on impact. The wind was knocked out of him as he instantly regained his sense of reality through the best possible medium: excruciating pain.

            "Having troubles, my unfortunate protégé?" said the Sannin, unconcerned enough to be picking at one of his nails. Naruto coughed in confirmation, and wheezed a rattling breath back in.

            "Fucking ow," he choked out. Of course Pervy-sage wasn't hot. There was no way. He was an asshole and a pervert and a drunk. That nose-stud did something odd to Naruto's stomach as the older nin stood over him, though, like flutters. Maybe the nose-stud was hot. That didn't necessarily mean the wearer had to be, right?

            "I bet," laughed the Sannin, lowering himself to a crouch next to his recovering student. "I did tell you I would be coming at you with everything. Care to tell me what was so important that you felt it was… _acceptable_ to interrupt such a serious matter as a battle?"

            Naruto coughed again, though this time with more of a pretense of hedging around the question that out of pain. He looked away from his teacher.

            "Aha. Well, fine. Don't tell me. But don't do it again. Got it?"

            A nod. Yes, definitely an asshole.

            "Right then, from the top!"

            "What do you think made you realize your attraction to the same sex?" asked the therapist conversationally.

            Naruto choked, forgetting momentarily that he had been swallowing a second before.

            "W-well, it was the dream I had last night, I think," he replied after he'd recovered.

            The therapist nodded.

            "What about the dream?" he prompted.

            "Um… Well, I was there, you see, and um, someone else was, too." He looked up, hoping that would be enough, but the therapist sat stone-faced and waiting. "Dammit, I don't know how to explain this without it sounding like one of Pervy-sage's stupid books." A look of shock suddenly made itself apparent. "In fact, I think it played out just like one of those books." His voice rose in volume, panic-stricken, "In fact, I think it went word-for-word like a scene in one of his books that he used to keep reading to me as punishment whenever I got something wrong too often." Naruto visibly strained not to retch, his face deadly pale.

            "So, the dream was a little… Steamy?" Asked the therapist, his face still completely impassive.

            "_Hell_ yes. But crap, I think there's more. At first I thought it was just Sasuke," Naruto stumbled over the name, "but I was sparring with Pervy-sage and…" he trailed off. "You're not going to tell anyone this, will you?"

            "The forms we both signed at during our first session compel me to remain absolutely silent about anything you say to me within this office," he assured, blank-faced.

            Naruto sat down again and leaned forward, his voice dramatically lowered.

            "I think I might be… I don't know, like… _twisted_ somehow." Naruto stopped, petrified as though the therapist would automatically vilify him and kick him out, telling him to never return and, by the way, forget being a ninja.

            "Twisted how?" replied the therapist, to Naruto's relief.

            "You promise you won't tell anyone or laugh or anything?" Naruto asked, nearly desperate. He really wanted to know if there was something wrong with him, and this guy would probably know best, right?

            "I promise," said the therapist. "Trust me, I doubt there is anything you could say that would shock me."

            Naruto nodded bracingly and took a breath.

            "At first… In the dream… I just thought I wanted only Sasuke. That's what I thought when I woke up. If I think about it, I've always wanted him that way." Naruto paused and looked up, almost pleading for reassurance.

            He got a nod. Good enough.

            "But this morning, I was sparring with… One of my teachers, and I… I really wanted him, too. I mean, it was just a temporary thing. As soon as he sent me flying into a tree I came back to reality. But the funny thing is, in both the dream and this morning, I was fighting with the other person. And I think it was the fighting that uh, I guess you could say got me going, haha… I think there is some part of me that likes the pain, or the conflict or something. It's like I want to be hurt, like I deserve it somehow, and I want to hurt someone else and for it to be, I don't know, like alright with them, somehow. Is there something wrong with that?" His face was burning and he could feel it. The fact that he could feel it made it burn even more.

            "Well, let's see. To start with, why do you think you feel the need for someone else to hurt you?"

            "I don't know," said Naruto, at a loss.

            "What about the part about hurting someone else? Do you have any idea why you would want to hurt someone else?"

            He shook his head in an almost helpless gesture.

            The therapist sat back and examined the yellow-haired ninja for a long moment.

            "Sometimes the hurt is the only sensation we allow ourselves, or that we receive from others for a long time. If the senses are deprived of any other sensory contact besides the pain for a very long time, like a caress, a kiss, or even a pat on the back, it's normal for a person in that situation to begin to associate the pain with something other than pain, especially in terms of contact with other human beings," he paused to ascertain that Naruto was listening, and then continued. "For example, from what you've told me of your past, is it safe to say that you rarely felt anyone touch you in a way that was other than aggressive?"

            Naruto's face darkened and he mumbled an incoherent affirmative.

            "It seems to me that as you've grown, and gone through puberty, that was still the only contact you had, and so you began to associate with how sex should be, or what love is like."

            Naruto's face fell more and more.

            "Is this making any sense to you, Naruto?" asked the therapist. "I just want to know if you think I'm on the right track or not."

            Naruto stood up like an arrow and starting pacing the office feverishly.

            "Fuck, yes, it makes sense." In an undercurrent, both heard the latent words: Is there something wrong with me? Am I that twisted? He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. It all made sense. Nearly all of the people he ever had a close relationship with had either kicked his ass or he had kicked theirs. And the closest of them all, at least Naruto refused to stop believing it, was a rivalry where the two were almost constantly on the verge of throttling each other to death. Was that what love was to him? Was it?  
            "What are you thinking about, Naruto?" prompted the therapist, a slight rise in the normally bland voice, almost like concern.

            "I don't know. Everything. It makes sense. Sasuke, Sakura, Granny Tsunade, Pervy-sage. Everything. _Sasuke._ I just can't believe I never saw it before. Is it really possible that I'm that stupid? I mean, stupidity has admittedly been one of my problems in the past, but this… This is a new dimension altogether."

            "There's really no need to beat yourself up about it so much, Naruto," the other voice soothed.

            "The fuck there isn't!" snapped the blonde. "I've got to get out of here. I'll see you tomorrow."

            Naruto jumped out the open window, into the tree, and sped across the rooftops, pleading to whatever god or gods there were to let him find someplace deserted so he could work this out nicely—and alone—by beating the crap out of something inanimate.

(Well, here's the second chapter. In case this does have any readers (which I doubt thus far, lol) just thought I should say that I've already got up to chapter 5 written, and anytime anyone wants another chapter, just go ahead and review and let me know. And if you don't want me to update, you can also review with subsequent flames, if you feel the need. Either would work for me, as long as someone reads the damn thing and has some sort of response. Cheers, y'all P).


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and therefore don't make any money from this stuff.

Chapter 3

            Naruto was pissed. For the first time in a long time, he was pissed at himself. The deserted training ground, surrounded in comfortable privacy by a wall of pine trees, made it feel somehow alright that he was beating the ever-living snot out of three of his own shadow clones while they grunted with the effort of keeping up the jutsu under such an assault. They weren't putting up much of a fight. They were just glorified practice dummies, anyway. Except, when one popped out of existence in a cloud of smoke and Naruto felt all of that clone's knowledge of numbing pain and forming bruises came rushing to him; that was when Naruto realized that he may as well have been punching himself in the face and tearing out his own hair.

            Still, it made him feel better, so he tackled one of the other orange blurs to the ground and gave it one savage blow to the face before it also popped out of existence. Turning towards the final shadow clone, who shook his head at Naruto in an almost disappointed manner, Naruto's mind reeled and a growl tore out of him.

            "Idiot!" he screamed ferally, and attacked. The shadow clone just stood there and waited for it, like he wanted it to, and tore through the chest, fingers splayed. As it, too, popped out of existence, it felt like something popped inside of him, like a balloon, only infinitely more satisfying. The remnants of the hole in his own chest from the Valley of the End ached and pulsated like a living thing.

            As Naruto prepared to do the jutsu all over again, this time with maybe twenty or thirty clones, a voice broke through the haze of his anger.

            "Naruto," it said. It wasn't a question.

            He turned and saw Neji standing there, face blank, but something in his eyes like a question. He'd probably seen Naruto tear the shit out of one of his shadow clones, and Naruto swallowed hard.

            "Neji," he said. He wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry or wonder why he needed to do either. He settled for an uncomfortable smile. "Whatcha doing here? You need to use the training ground? I was just about to leave." He made a move to.

            "Actually, I was told to come find you. Lady Hokage requests our presence."

            "Granny Tsunade does? What the hell for?" demanded Naruto, feeling altogether put out. Was he going to have to give her an update on how therapy was going? Because at the moment it wasn't going nearly as smoothly, as say, a porcupine rolling down a hill covered in an infestation of thorn bushes pasted to sandpaper.

            "I believe she has a mission for us," said Neji, looking a little ruffled as well.

            "A mission?" Naruto's face perked up and all of a sudden infinitely more interested. Maybe he could get some excitement and clear his head before he returned to therapy again. "What kind of mission?"

            "She wouldn't tell me until we were both in her office," stated Neji, trying his damndest to remain stoic and failing, showing a slight nervous tic in his eyebrow.

            "Well, what are we waiting for?" Naruto said, and sprinted off at high speed.

            "Apparently just me," said Neji, with something of a sigh, and followed suit.

            "I want the both of you to do some daytime patrolling around the waystation near Konoha's southwestern border for a little while," said Tsunade, not looking up from the papers on her desk. Naruto gaped, and Neji stood, stone-faced and grim.

            "But I thought it would be something exciting!" whined Naruto. "And what about—" he looked over at Neji and lowered his voice, as though that would keep the other from hearing even though they were right next to each other. "What about the other thing I'm doing right now? Isn't that important, too?"

            "You can take a break, can't you? In fact, I think the _both_ of you should take a break, and this would be a nice opportunity. Resting at night, doing a little bit of patrolling during the day. Since that border is undeniably peaceful right now, call it a nice paid vacation. Maybe when you both come back, you'll have a new wind." The corner of Tsunade's mouth twitched. In the back of Naruto's mind, a warning bell sounded. "Someone will come and get you when we need you back."

            "Yes, Lady Hokage," bowed Neji, as if this were his death sentence.

            "What's _really_ going on, Granny Tsunade?" Naruto asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.

            "Don't question me, brat!" she put on her best scary face, and Naruto's back straightened, but pouted unashamedly like a five-year-old.

            "Anyway, I want you to leave the first thing tomorrow morning, and if you have any questions before you leave…" she looked ghoulish, and then flashed a bright smile, "Shizune will help you." Shizune's shoulders slumped in her corner of the office.

            "Yes, Lady Hokage," they said in unison, and then fled.

            Shizune sighed a long-suffering sigh.

            "Shouldn't you have told them, Lady Tsunade?" she asked, concerned for Naruto, who was like a little brother to her.

            Tsunade laughed, unaware that it had turned to a cackle.

            "No, let's see how long it takes them to tell each other. I'm sick of all this pussy-footing around those two like they're made of glass. They need to know, and they both need to tell each other at some point. I think I'll leave them out there until things get a bit more interesting…" She cackled again to herself, as she signed something.

            "You can be so sadistic sometimes, Lady Tsunade," Shizune mourned, and Tonton seemed to agree.

            "Don't you have some work to do?!"

            Shizune squeaked and retreated like there was fire at her back, instead of a barrage of wadded up paper.

            Naruto arrived at the gate five minutes early.  Of course, Neji was there already. What Naruto was _not _expecting, however, was the fact that he was standing with Lee, who looked immensely concerned. Naruto slowed.

            Huh. That was odd. It almost seemed like… _Neji Hyuuga_ was taking advice from _Rock Lee_. Shaking his head as though it were an illusion, and hoping to high heaven that he hadn't woken up in Bizzarroland this morning, he continued to observe before they caught his chakra signature. Neji said something, looking irked, and Lee replied with strangely subdued but also somehow knowledgeable hand gestures while Neji nodded, relieved for some very, very odd reason. What was going on? This mission just kept getting fishier and fishier.

            Suddenly they both cocked their heads and turned to look at Naruto. Neji tensed, and Lee waved with a huge grin. It looked out of place in the pre-dawn light.

            "What a fine morning is it not, Naruto?" blared Lee, obviously unaware of exactly what time it was.

            "Uh, yeah, I guess it is!" Naruto replied, trying to match the enthusiasm but coming up a little short. So he wasn't a morning person. He felt more apprehensive when he glanced over at Neji, who was already facing the road, apparently ready to leave. Something wasn't right. Not right at all.

            Lee's grin widened, which hadn't seemed possible until it actually happened, and began to leave walking backwards.

            "Well, I'm off to meet Gai-sensei for our daily 50-mile jog! Good luck!" he gave them a thumbs-up, and then he was gone.

            "Good luck?" snorted Naruto. "What on earth do we need luck for? Weird. I guess that's Lee, or something."

            "Hn," said Neji, and started walking.

            Assuming that Neji didn't want to talk, and feeling rather accommodating at the moment (he was still trying to piece together exactly what the hell was going on, and needed the silence), Naruto didn't push him. It was nearly two hours later, when they were sitting by the side of a nearby river, taking a break, that Naruto broke the silence.

            "You know, I asked Shizune about something that had me kind of worried yesterday. I wanted to know why Yamato-sensei or Kakashi-sensei weren't coming with us, and she said that if I was really worried about it, to stay close to you. What do you think she meant by that?" Naruto watched him like a hawk out of the corner of his eye.

            Neji's eyes widened slightly and his breath caught. If Naruto hadn't been watching, he wouldn't have seen, because he regained his composure in the blink of an eye.

            "If neither she nor the Hokage feel it necessary to tell you, then maybe you shouldn't know," said Neji, taking one of the onigiri set in front of him.

            "You _do_ know something! You ass!" Naruto pointed an accusatory finger at the slimmer ninja, who ate the onigiri in silence, unfazed. "What the hell is going on? How does Granny Tsunade expect me to _relax_ when it feels like this mission is some sort of trap or something? I mean, I know I can be a little dense, but I'm not _that_ dense! Hey, would you listen to me?!" Naruto grabbed the other's shoulder, fed up with being ignored. Maybe he grabbed a little too hard, because before he knew what was going on, he was skidding backwards on the ground, his lungs having momentarily forgotten how to breathe, and suddenly found himself very and unaccountably wet. He blinked in shock as he was pulled with the swift current into several very sharp rocks. He felt the overwhelming urge to cough, but found that he couldn't, and then breathed water in before he could stop himself. He struggled to move his arms and legs, found them unresponsive, and panicked. Why couldn't he move?!

            Suddenly, as he felt the world go dark, a hand grabbed his jacket and dragged him to shore. He was eerily quiet and still. Neji leaned over him, tapped him in several places with chakra. His arms and legs twitched.

            "N-naruto?"

            No response.

            Neji immediately placed his hands over Naruto's chest and began compressions. Water came gurgling up, and Naruto coughed, but still didn't move or open his eyes. Neji leaned in, his mouth open. When he had placed his lips over the blonde's, he saw the blue eyes open in absolute and nearly catatonic shock. He shoved Neji away.

            "What the fuck, Neji??" He squealed, suddenly aware of every single part of his body buzzing like he was electrically wired. "No, really, WHAT THE FUCK?" He got up and shook himself, needing beyond anything else right then to go for a long and vigorous jog, or _something_.

            "I didn't know what I was doing before it was too late. Are you alright?" Neji got up and tried to check Naruto's wounds from the rocks in the riverbed, which were bleeding profusely.

            "Fine-why-do-you-ask?" Naruto said, determinedly avoiding the other's eyes. "What the fuck was that about?" he asked, before Neji could answer.

            "I'm sorry, I was just really tense," if Neji had never before been panicked, shocked, and mortified all at once, it seemed like now was it. "You're bleeding…" he said, in a funny sort of choked off whisper.

            "Am I?" Naruto looked down at himself. "Oh." His left pant leg was soaked and his orange jacket may as well have been his red jacket. He took it off, and found the wounds in his sides already more than halfway healed. Neji let out a long breath.

            "I could have killed you," he said, awestruck.

            Naruto's shoulders tensed and relaxed almost as quickly. That was… sort of thrilling. Naruto struggled to keep control of his body as it continued to buzz like he was about to turn into a flash of lightning. He looked up at Neji, smiling, and trying hard not to show his thoughts. He would be stuck with this man, for weeks at a time. They would be sleeping in the same one-room cabin. Even if they didn't see each other during the day, they would most definitely see each other every night. And they would be completely and entirely alone.

            "No, you couldn't have. It's no big deal. See? Already gone," said Naruto, pulling off his shirt and showing Neji the freshly healed, slightly pink skin. "It's alright, man. No harm done!" He went to his pack to get a fresh set of clothes. Neji followed him in a daze. "You've got a fast punch. I didn't even see it coming. But whatever. I guess I sorta deserved it, huh? If I get on your nerves again, you can hit me again, alright? I've been told I can get a little intense." He gave Neji a comradely pat on the shoulder, and led the way down the path after they packed up their things. Neji walked behind, silent again, but observing Naruto with an odd look every once in a while. They continued their journey.

            Naruto wondered faintly, as he felt the Hyuuga's eyes on his back, if there was something terribly wrong with the fact that he found the fact that he really _could_ have almost died to be a gigantic turn on? And did it make him wretchedly deviant that he was thinking of ways to get on the Hyuuga's nerves more often in the future?

(Here's chapter 3. Thanks for the reviews, those that reviewed ). Chapter 4 shouldn't take too much longer for me to post… I would like to get chapter 6 written before I really post anything else, though, and I don't know how long that might take. And, considering that my main site for this story is , that site does come first, so if you do want me to continue posting chapters, please be sure to let me know via review, or whatnot. So yeah. Thanks for reading!)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and therefore don't make any money from this stuff.

Chapter 4

When the two arrived at the waystation, it was already evening. The station itself was just a little bit bigger than Naruto had expected, having supplies in a storage room/kitchen that took up the entire back end of the cabin, and a full bathroom outhouse, including a bathtub (it must have been big enough to comfortably fit at least ten people) and working plumbing. Behind the storage room, an immense-looking cliff-face sat guardian-like over the cabin, all sorts of vines and flowers growing from its nooks and crannies. A waterfall could be heard nearby, to complete the idyllic and majestic setting. Tsunade had been right; this was a nice place to have a sort of paid vacation.

Rather than gape and say "wow!" dumbly every few seconds, as Naruto opted to do, Neji proceeded calmly into the cabin and began to settle for the night.

"Hey… I'm going to go explore a bit," he shouted in the general direction of the cabin, his feet already carrying him in the direction of the waterfall. He got no reply, so he took that as an "ok," or a "hn," or whatever Neji would say to that, and quickened his pace. He had some tension to work off.

When he got there, he said "wow!" again in the same amazed voice, but with a thick tone. He tried his hardest not to think about why he had to do what he was about to do, because that would only lead to guilt, and that was one thing he didn't want to think about just then. Not only would it ruin the mood, but what the hell did he need guilt for, anyway? It was so… stupid.

He took a nervous look around and, seeing no one, began to strip as he stood next to the calm river water in view of the nearby waterfall. A gentle mist rushed over his bare skin as he sat next to the water, giving him gooseflesh and making his breath hitch. He closed his eyes, and spread his legs wider, his arousal already hard to the point of pain. But ohh, that made it so much nicer. And no, he shouldn't think about the fact that the pain was good, no, not _that_ good, much too good for his own good. He wouldn't think about it. He refused. He bit his lip with one of his canines, breaking the skin, and as he whimpered, his hand shot up to one of his nipples, doing dirty things to it before it followed the drip of blood from his lip down his abdomen, where the curse mark seemed to simply ­_purr_. The blood dripped further down, and he did all he could to stop himself from biting harder as he—_finally—_grasped his own cock in his hand and pumped slowly, drawing the pain out longer and deigning not to slake it just yet. He moaned breathily.

The remembrance of Neji's face above his as he awoke from the feeling of certain oblivion got him pumping faster. The blood on his jacket, the feeling of paralyzed helplessness as he choked in water… Sasuke saying, "The person I really want to fight… is you."

"Fuck," he whispered, and the slick sounds of his hand sliding up and down were all he could hear while he staunchly refused to think about Sasuke, not while he was doing this, not right now. He would think about… Sakura-chan? No, that didn't do anything anymore… Iruka-sensei? No, too much like family… He flipped through faces and images in his mental codex and _ding!_ came up with a winner.

It had been nearly a year ago. Naruto and Jiraiya had stopped in a small village outside of Konoha, too busy to return home, even for just the night, and uninterested in all the commotion it would stir up anyway. Jiraiya had gone out for the night (big surprise there), and Naruto was left on his own, it being too early for bed, and too late for dinner. He ended up wandering around for a few hours, until he came upon a set of secluded natural hot springs. Thinking it was a good opportunity, and almost giggling at his luck, his hands made for the hem of his shirt, but then he spotted someone heading up towards him, towel in hand. For some reason he felt like he was intruding, and for all he knew, he might have been.

So he hid. Only natural, right? The thing was, the person dressed in a robe with a hot springs logo on it (so he was intruding, whoops), turned out to be Neji. Imagine his surprise! But, just as he was about to get up and say hi and laugh and maybe even get in with him to chat about stuff, he halted, holding his breath. Neji, who always had his mask on, who was always serious and stoic and so god damn _Hyuuga _(Naruto thought this as an insult, but maybe he really meant it more as _regal_ than anything else), slipped off his robe with a heavy, exhausted sigh. It fell to the ground and Naruto could almost see it puff out and then fall to stillness in slow motion as Neji lowered himself into the water. Naruto could remember his mouth being slightly agape. Neji was… good looking, you know, for a guy. The sight of the Hyuuga, naked, if only for a moment, was enough to make his face so red that it would make any tomato jealous.

Of course, Neji had sat and dozed for a while, his mask still off as he thought of his day (Naruto imagined), as he frowned a little, and every once in a while gave a small smile, as though thinking about something nice. Then he had left, and so had Naruto, not long afterwards. He never brought it up to Pervy-sage, who would probably have thought the wrong thing, and _of course _it would have been the wrong thing, because he didn't swing like that (he would have said), but he had never really forgotten about it. Naruto let out a short breath, suddenly elated, imagining the Hyuuga maybe giving that small smile to him, to his face, unashamed of the fact that he was _smiling_, and this time for Naruto and Naruto alone.

"Nngah!" he exclaimed, as his seed shot all over his face and chest in quick, hot spurts. His limbs shook in euphoria. He was too spent to flinch as some of it hit one of his tightly shut eyes, but when he recovered somewhat, he flopped on his back to rest on the ground, using his nearby shirtsleeve to wipe it off so he could see again. He looked up at the incredibly bright stars and the almost blindingly white sliver of the moon. He wiped his chin on the back of his hand and saw the heady mixture of blood and semen, his brows furrowed, almost worried. He sighed. If he had thought admitting to himself about his sexual orientation had been hard, he shuddered to think how hard this next part would be.

Neji turned on one of the lamps, unpacked his pack, put his clothes away, and then sat down on the surprisingly comfortable mattress on his side of the cabin. Naruto's was a mere eight feet away, opposite his. He looked around him with resign. The glass windows were covered with curtains a comfortable shade of gray. So this is it, he thought. It didn't appear to be an altogether pleasant prospect. However, it had been nice that Naruto had disappeared right after they had arrived. In spite of the silence that had pervaded the majority of their journey, Neji had found himself incapable of thinking about the situation with Naruto in his usual analytical manner. Something about the yellow-haired ninja's presence halted all of his normal thought processes and even, to his dismay, did weird things to his heart rate and breathing patterns. If he couldn't help it that Naruto's mere presence made his stomach do flips, how was he going to deal with Naruto's nearly constant presence for who knew how long?

And, what was he supposed to say if Naruto pushed the question about neither Yamato-sensei or Kakashi-sensei being needed? He couldn't just _tell_ him. True, he had been trained to withstand torture, and he doubted that Naruto would really resort to that (was he even capable of something like that?), but they were going to be working together. It seemed like it would probably be a sore spot if Naruto still demanded to know and Neji still refused to say. Not to mention the fact that Neji had slight problems with Naruto acting like he hated the Hyuuga's guts. Sure, he'd _act _like it didn't bother him, but he was at a loss as to how exactly he would feel about _having_ to act like it. Still, there was just no way Neji could tell him. He didn't even want to think about what Naruto's reaction would be to the truth. That might be worse than a simple act. Would he be thankful? He doubted it. It was much more likely that Naruto would simply flash him a disgusted look and then never speak to him again.

He inwardly groaned (because, you know, Hyuugas didn't actually groan ­_out loud_, except for maybe Hinata).

What possible reason could the Hokage have had in sending them both out to the middle of nowhere? He highly suspected it was to force his hand, and that the Hokage wanted Neji to tell Naruto about what he was really doing, as if it was Naruto's business or something (Neji snorted). If that was the case, which seemed more and more likely the more he thought about it, he couldn't help but feel like his privacy had been invaded. And if there was one thing a Hyuuga really respected, it was privacy. What Neji did during his free time was Neji's business, and how dare the Hokage interfere, especially before his plans were complete. Sure, the Hokage obviously knew what he was doing, and he suspected that everyone else probably knew, too. But, it had to be Naruto, the one person who wasn't supposed to find out in a million years, and who it was all truly _for_, that Neji was stuck with. It was almost too much.

No, strike that, it _was_ too much. It wasn't enough that the plan was in jeopardy and that he'd been living for that plan since Naruto had left Konoha to train with Jiraiya. This mission just seemed to be making everything fall apart. Throwing Naruto into the river and pulling him back out, paralyzed and bleeding, after all, made Neji feel all at once a multitude of things that he wasn't even sure a person _could_ feel all at once without exploding.

First of all, there was the horror at having done such a thing, especially because Naruto obviously wasn't on his guard for a physical attack (though he should have been, damn him, what kind of a shinobi does he think he is anyway?!). Then there was the guilt for being so unaware of what he was doing in his insulted pride that he had hit all of the right chakra points to paralyze the blonde, and not realizing it until Naruto had failed to resurface within a reasonable amount of time. And he had felt so _justified_ for hitting him and sending him flying, before Neji finally realized what he'd actually done. Naruto, in spite of what he said and how quickly he healed, either seemed unaware of or refused to admit the real danger he had been in. What if Neji hadn't realized that Naruto was paralyzed in time, and thought that he was just faking it for sympathy or something? _Then_ he'd have something to feel _really_ guilty for.

Second… Was Neji really ready to admit some of those dreadful things about himself? Sure, he had prided himself on being brutally honest nearly all his life, only softening a bit towards others since his first defeat at the hands of the one and only orange ninja. But was he truly ready to admit… those things?

No, Neji finally decided. If he admitted those things, he would have to admit others, and then others, and then he would be spilling his guts to Naruto, and ruin his plan, which he'd been working on for much too long to give up on it now. Besides… spilling guts to anyone was… un-Hyuuga-like. Tonight, he would deal with the horror and the guilt of today. The rest, he would put off for as long as he possibly could—hopefully someday soon it would just go away. And that meant—Neji cringed—avoiding Naruto like he was the plague.

And he had no problem with that, really. He'd been doing that since Naruto had returned. He was pretty good at stealth, after all. And as for Naruto… well, the guy wore orange, for goodness' sake. He wasn't exactly hard to miss.

He just hoped Naruto would get the point and let him be.

(Here's the fourth chapter! It's a bit late, and I'm sorry about that, but considering that school started last week and I'm taking 16-credits this semester, school does come first. Also, if you read the author's note in the previous chapter, you know that this chapter is posted because I've finally completed the 6th chapter. Woot! Hopefully I'll be caught up with all of the chapters on this site by the end of the week, or in a couple of weeks, depending on when I can post them.

Anyhow… I do make Neji a bit girly and easily spooked, don't I? That was a very apt observation, Judo Creature, and thank you for pointing it out to me. If I had realized it sooner, I would have been able to tweak some things in the later chapters to fix it… As it stands, it looks like I'll just have to go along with what I've got, since I already have up to chapter 5 (6, tomorrow) posted on my main fanfiction website. I'd really like to be consistent with the chapters on both websites I'm posting at…

Still… I think I wrote him that way in the first place to counter a lot of authors on these sites that continuously write him as a stoic bastard, and I just don't see him that way at all. And anyway, in spite of him being shown a whole freakin lot in the filler arc in Naruto, I count the manga more than the anime in this, in that he wasn't shown enough to establish him as the same stoic bastard he was before Naruto kicked his ass, and still isn't in the Shippuuden, at least so far. Maybe I went a little too far to make a point, but we'll see how this molds things chapter 7 and on. Hurrah for constructive criticism!)


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and therefore don't make any money from this stuff.

Chapter 5

            Lee and Gai-sensei lay next to each other in the grass, both with chests heaving, the clouds for the moment covering the harsh light of the sun and bathing them in blessed coolness.

            "Ahh, Gai-sensei that was a good jog!" panted Lee, giving a thumbs-up to the sky.

            "Indeed it was my most energetic pupil!" returning the thumbs-up as though it were a greeting, like a friendly wave, and most obligatory to return. "I hear you saw Neji and Naruto off bright and early before our jog yesterday," said Gai, after he had caught his breath and began to recover some of his pep.

            "I did, Gai-sensei," Lee grinned.

            "What is that grin for, my suddenly devious-looking pupil?" asked Gai, looking over out of the corner of his eye.

            "Neji was worried about something, and asked me for advice," replied Lee, still grinning.

            "Are you glad that he was worried? Do you triumph in the fact that he acknowledged your superior knowledge in the area of his worry?! I didn't know that you were so spiteful, Lee! Alas!"

            "No, no, Gai-sensei, that's not it at all," he replied, on the verge of a near giggle. He got up and leaned in conspiratorially to Gai, his hand shielding whatever he might say to any stray eavesdroppers. "NEJI IS IN THE THROES OF HIS FIRST AND ONLY LOVE!"

            "Gah!" Gai gasped, as he had leaned in to hear what he had thought would be a whispered statement.

            Lee's face flushed and his eyes watered in emotion, and continued on heedless. "It was so beautiful to see, Gai-sensei! He asked me to meet him at the gate before he left, and of course I said that I would. But I did not know that he would be asking me what he should do, being on a mission with Naruto in a secluded setting and for an undetermined amount of time. He admitted to me emotions most conflicted, and threatened to kill me most terribly if I ever told anyone!" Lee seemed ecstatic, while Gai's mouth gaped open, fish-like. Lee plowed on, unaware of his sensei's shock: "He asked me what he should do, since he didn't want Naruto finding something out, and because I see Naruto more often than he so I should probably know better how to be secretive with him. I told him not to worry, that Naruto was possibly one of the densest ninja in all of Konoha, and that there was nothing to worry about, if secrecy was his goal! His relief cannot be imagined!"

            "Lee! Are you telling me that Neji confessed to you in confidence that he is secretly in love with Naruto?" Gai gaped, and Lee's jubilation abated somewhat.

            "In so many words, Gai-sensei… In so many words! He did say that there was something that he didn't want Naruto to know, and it could only be that!"

            "But he didn't say what it was that he wanted to keep secret?" asked Gai-sensei.

            "Not exactly, he wouldn't say anything specific, but he was very concerned."

            "So it might not be love after all," said Gai, seeming to mull it over.

            "I'm not sure, Gai-sensei. What else could it be?"

            "Hmmm. It is a mystery! I suppose we'll find out what's really going on when Naruto and Neji return! In the meantime, let's keep this between us, alright?"

            "Yes, Gai-sensei!"

            "Neji likes his secrets kept once he tells them to someone. You shouldn't have even told me, Lee, but I'm glad you did." Gai looked up at the clouds again with a smile, though what he was thinking Lee could only guess.

            Naruto was pissed. Again. Something was definitely not right. His foul-play sensors were going off like mad and he did not like it one little bit. Sure, it was nice that he had gotten out of therapy after only having been in it for about a week, but ceasing the therapy had also ceased his progress, in both training and, well, other things.

            But that was beside the point. Here he was, stuck with Neji in a beautiful, secluded area of the Land of Fire, where there was a nearby waterfall and connected river surrounded by heavy green forest, where they slept in the same one-room cabin and were _supposed_ to basically laze around and do nothing important until they were told to come home. It was almost like the Hokage had sent them on a honeymoon without the wedding. The problem was that no one was married (or _wanted_ to be married, jeez), and obviously neither party wanted to be there. As for Naruto, he had things to be doing, important things, like train so he could save Sasuke, or go out on missions to save Sasuke, or you know, just freaking _save Sasuke_. Whatever had happened to that? Was Granny Tsunade mad at him or something?

            And _Neji_, the asshole, was sitting there, five feet away from him with his fishing pole propped up between his ankles, arms crossed and eyes firmly shut as though in meditation. They were both fishing for the same dinner, and there was Neji, ignoring Naruto as if he had never been born, and therefore obviously couldn't be sitting next to him, fishing, seething, nope, definitely no one there.

            Naruto stewed. When he had gotten back to the cabin the previous night, after his admittedly embarrassing but infinitely satisfying act by the river, Neji had already gone to bed. When Naruto finally got settled, he said goodnight, and got no response. It was no big deal, he wasn't really expecting one; after all, Neji was probably already asleep. Naruto had shrugged it off and gone to sleep himself, his dreams thankfully silent for the moment (he couldn't imagine how mortifying it would be when his usual dreams began to surface once again, but he seriously considered doing a repeat of "the act" by the river as often as he could to stave them off).

            And then, during breakfast, Naruto had asked what they should do that day. Neji had replied firmly and matter-of-factly that Naruto could do whatever the hell he wanted, Neji didn't give a damn. Naruto had laughed and said "what a cold thing to say," and thought that, you know, Neji was being a joking bastard in his own joking bastard sort of way. But Naruto took another look at Neji's face, and thought again.

            Lunch was quite similar. The two had gone their separate ways after breakfast, Naruto going to explore the waterfall area, and see if maybe there was a secret cave behind it, as he had read about in a number of adventure stories. Secretly he thought it would be super duper cool to find one, for numerous reasons he would never admit to anyone, even under pain of torture.

            Neji, on the other hand, had explored a nearby valley, almost completely opposite to Naruto's choice of location. And then when they had returned to eat, Naruto had followed Neji around, asking him questions and bombarding him with statements about their surroundings and the interesting things he'd found, etc.

            In a wild moment of daring (and something of a death wish, perhaps), he told Neji what he thought about Hinata, who apparently had nice tiny breasts, and an exceptionally firm ass. No, really, he'd felt it on accident one time they were on a mission together. He'd also accidentally seen her naked while she was bathing. _Really _nice tits. Truthfully (he'd kept this to himself), she hadn't ever really done anything for him (she wasn't his type, obviously), but Naruto had thought for sure this would get a rise out of the other man—Hell, even a solid punch in the face would have been nice at that point. But to his dismay it had only made the Hyuuga's face twitch unpleasantly before he had turned stiffly and used a teleportation jutsu to where Naruto couldn't follow.

            He remembered screaming at the spot Neji had been a moment before, telling him to "Quit ignoring me, you fucking douchebag!" and not caring if it was heard or not, in spite of its childish tone.

            And now, several hours later, they were sitting next to each other in uncomfortable silence next to the river, in the exact spot that Naruto had done a dirty deed, and it made Naruto simultaneously hot and cool. It tingled and made the hairs on his neck stand up. He baited the hook with semi-steady hands, and threw it in the water, propping the fishing pole up with a number of heavy rocks. He had an idea. He was appalled at his own audacity, and refused to think about whether or not he would regret this, but dammit, if there was one thing he hated more than anything else, it was being ignored.

            "Hey, Neji," said Naruto.

            "Hn," said Neji.

            The black-haired man had no idea what was coming until he felt the blonde's lips pressed firmly against his, and his back hit the ground with a solid _whump_. He struggled with an angry growl, their lips vibrating together and their teeth clicking with the violence of it. Before he could push the other away, he felt hands grasping his wrists and pinning them above his head. His own gray eyes widened, and he saw Naruto's electrically blue ones open above him, shining with amusement and not a little bit of spite. He pulled away and began placing nips and wet kisses along the Hyuuga's neck and collarbone.

            "Naruto?!" squeaked Neji, as soon as his mouth was released, "Hey, what are you doing? Get off m-mmph!"

            Naruto recaptured Neji's lips in a hot, searing kiss, all passion and fire, this time Naruto's eyes slid shut and he moaned into it. Neji bucked, half trying to throw Naruto off and half in mindless reaction to the delicious friction building up in his groin. He gasped, torn between mortification and pleasure. This shouldn't be happening, this shouldn't be happening, holy hell, holy hell, this definitely shouldn't be happening was all Neji could think. It was almost a litany as Naruto pulled back, straddling Neji's hips and his hands still grasping the slimmer man's wrists tightly.

            "What gives, Neji?" He leaned in close and licked the shell of Neji's ear, experiencing the unmitigated pleasure of making the usually so stoic Hyuuga shudder and groan. He whispered into his ear. "You could get away any time you wanted and you know it. Makes me wonder…"

            Neji turned his face away, deciding not to acknowledge the truth of that, his face flushed and his eyes squeezed shut. Maybe if he held really still the world would stop for a moment and this wouldn't actually be happening.

            Naruto once again suppressed the urge to consider exactly what he was doing right at that moment, because if he did, he was sure he'd flee and hide quicker than a flash of lightning. What the hell was he thinking, anyway? But it was too late now to think. He'd started this; he'd sure as hell finish it.

            "You don't want me to stop, do you?" Naruto whispered incredulously into Neji's ear just before he sucked and nibbled on the earlobe.

            Neji moaned, just as surprised as Naruto. No, this was actually… indescribably good. Neji tensed as Naruto nibbled on a sensitive spot just behind his ear that had his body thrumming like a guitar string.

            Of course he didn't want Naruto to stop; he'd wanted this since he'd seen the blonde for the first time in two and a half years at the Akatsuki's meeting place, seeing Naruto's demonic aura threatening to overtake him in his desperation to save Gaara. He'd wanted this since the mission to retrieve Sasuke which had failed and Neji had almost died, thinking that it would have been a poetic death. Hell, he'd wanted this since he'd gotten his ass kicked and his world of harsh philosophies upturned by the (apparently) perpetually failing and utterly useless Naruto.

            It just shouldn't matter what he wanted, right? What he _needed_ to do was to save Naruto from saving Sasuke, and surely that took precedence. If he could save Sasuke and in so doing save Naruto from worlds of danger, that should be enough, right? That was the most important thing here, the thing he'd been planning for so long, could he just let it all go down the drain for one moment of this indescribably sweet _want_?

            "I'll teach you what happens when you ignore me…" said Naruto in a quietly intense authority that caught them both by surprise, but there was no time to analyze it or doubt it, as Naruto sucked down on Neji's neck, right along the pulse, tongue swirling in a way that made Neji's mind do a similar motion. Naruto sucked harder, bit, and then licked the same spot, making Neji let out a moan that turned into a near sob. He wanted this soooo badly…

            Naruto froze. His grip on Neji's wrists went limp, and he sat back, doubtful.

            "Neji? Shit, man, I…" Naruto had misunderstood Neji's moan of unsure need to be one of fear. Neji's gut clenched. "I…" Naruto stood up and backed away. He looked torn. Neji lie on his back staring up at the sky, and slowly sat up, his hand reaching up to feel the forming bite mark in a daze. Who would have thought that letting someone bite you could be so… opposite to what bites normally were?

            Naruto made a strangled noise several feet away from Neji, and Neji's head shot up to catch Naruto's horrified and pained stare before the orange ninja spun on his heel and fled so fast that Neji lost sight of him within seconds.

            Then a fish tugged on Naruto's fishing pole, still propped up between the rocks. With one last look in the direction that Naruto had disappeared, he turned to tend to dinner with a sorely conflicted heart.

            Just as he was walking up the path to the cabin from the river (only one fish richer, he ruminated), he spotted someone sitting on the steps. He tensed, and then saw the Konoha forehead protector. He stopped within several yards of the intruder, and stared, waiting for an explanation.

            "Uh, Neji Hyuuga?" asked the man, standing up. His features would be what most would call handsome, his mannerisms dashing the "handsome" to pieces and replacing it with "beautiful." The man's brown eyes and brown hair denoted plainness, but the way his hips moved and the coolness with which he regarded the world at large (as well as Neji) showed a slightly cynical optimism that clashed and seemed to make peace on that smooth face.

            "Yes?" Neji's eyes narrowed.

            "I'm looking for Naruto Uzumaki. Know where I can find him?" he smiled pleasantly and Neji was almost blinded.

            "What do you want him for?" Neji asked. "Are we allowed to come home yet?"

            "Hmm. As to the first question, that's between myself and Naruto. As to the second, no."

            Neji frowned. Between himself and Naruto? Between himself and Naruto?? Just what the hell did that mean??

(Well, here's the 5th chapter. Sorry, I know I said in the previous chapter that I would be getting the 5th and 6th chapters posted sometime, what, two weeks ago? but I've found exactly _how_ little time I have now that I'm doing a 16-credit semester. Turns out not a lot, lol. I seriously sleep, eat, and read pretty much nonstop during the waking hours, when I'm not driving or in class. It's pretty crappy. But, I've finally got into the swing of things, and I now know when I can take a few breaks. Friday is one of those times. So, here it is, and I hope you enjoy it. Looking back, it seems as though with the first chapter my writing style was still kind of choppy, but I'm thinking with the later chapters things seem to be smoothing out. At least, that's what I'm seeing, I don't know what everyone else sees in it. It _was_ the first time I'd written anything like a short story in about 3-4 months, so I guess that's to be expected. Anyway.

Lol, Judo Creature, yeah, no way Neji is a typical uke, nor is he the typical seme, either. I prefer the relationships in which neither has more power over the other one; it's more like a relationship and less like a power-play or role-reversal (and who gives a damn about the roles, anyway?). Which is nice to see; it's refreshing, you know? I'm glad you like my portrayal of Neji; he's tough to write, if only _because_ he's shown so little in the series. As for Naruto's super-sperm hitting his face while just sitting normally, it is by no means as mythical as, say, unicorns. If there's enough buildup, it is definitely possible, probable even, and I'd say Naruto was definitely feeling that way right then. I'll try to restrict my tendency towards exaggeration in the future, however… I may have gotten a little carried away after all, lol. We'll see how things develop in later chapters.)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and therefore do not make any money from this stuff.

Chapter 6

            Neji's eyes narrowed.

            "Between yourself and Naruto?" asked Neji, numbly. He was still dazed from the attack Naruto had launched at him only about fifteen minutes before. His body still thrummed and vibrated like a struck tuning bell. He continued to worry whether or not he should have gone after him, bouncing back and forth between regret and a sense of satisfied duty. But what would Neji have said to him if he had gone after him? Sorry you misunderstood; I do actually want you, so bad that I can barely move and the shame of wanting you makes me want to die sometimes Oh, by the way, I'm learning a jutsu to release the curse mark on Sasuke so Konoha can get him back and you can both live happily ever after with each other. What? Don't worry about me, stupid, just take the fucking gift and live with it, because that's what I'm giving you and that's what you'll get from me.

            He walked past the new man and into the cabin, still numb, but now more sullen brooding than his previous panicky shame, and began to prepare the fish to be eaten. Leaving the door open, he assumed that would be considered as a "Please, do come in and sit down and tell me what the hell you meant you goddamn bastard," but when he turned back around, he saw that the man had apparently considered it beneath him to come in and sit down, and had also deigned it beneath him to say that he was leaving, presumably to go find Naruto.

            Neji's chest clenched. What did he want with Naruto? Who was he? Did they know each other? Did they _know _know each other? For some reason Neji's vision went red and his breathing sped up beyond his control. So what if the knife got stuck in the cutting board a few times while he was cutting up the damn fish which had interrupted the… What could he even call that? Make-out session? But what business was it of his if Naruto _knew-_knew anybody? It's not like he had any true claim on the blond ninja. Quite the opposite, in fact. Why was he so angry, though? He could barely contain his fury, and the sense of downright _unfairness_ at it all. If Naruto was with someone else then what point was there in Neji trying to help save Sasuke for Naruto? What point was there in him having done anything he'd done for the past two and a half years? Why had he lived for this purpose so blindly? Hadn't he learned his lesson about things like that when he was still a genin?

            He just felt so incredibly stupid. It was not something he was accustomed to, and it rankled deep.

            But… A part of Neji resisted the pull to logically reason this out, a part that wanted to wallow in the self-pity and anguish that he felt rise like bile in his throat. He quashed it, angry at it being a part of him and being such a disgusting weakness. And so he used his logic.

            Was there really any reason to jump to conclusions? Who really knew what the guy wanted with Naruto, anyway? It could be anything, and it might not actually be the thing that Neji dreaded. And besides, Naruto had lots of friends who had become friends with him in much the same way Neji had. Neji flinched as he reminded himself yet again that he was nothing all that special in Naruto's eyes; just another fucked up person who needed to be believed in, just like all the others. So, maybe the man was simply another Naruto fan, fucked up and in need, nothing special, just like Neji.

            And yet… The man had been _so_ attractive.

            Neji slapped the fish on the griddle perhaps a little too hard, though he would deny any such claim, if ever brought to his attention, and began to cook it, teeth clenching.

            Naruto sat in the cave behind the waterfall, determined to sleep there and perhaps stay as long as he could without starving or dying of thirst. He truly felt that the only way he could leave the cave and return to the cabin anytime soon would have been if Neji came and got him and told him that things were alright. Or, if word came from Konoha that they could come home again.

            He was sure he didn't deserve any sort of forgiveness at the moment, but maybe in a couple of days, if he still hadn't come around, Neji would be feeling generous enough to let slide a little bit of ramen theft from the store room in the middle of the night. Other than that, he'd have to keep his distance. Neji was obviously shocked with him and who knew what else, and who wouldn't be? Naruto had practically raped the guy, and only because he was being ignored. What the hell, right? Did he have no self-control whatsoever?

            Though, (and this thought really irked him) what else could he have done to get Neji to stop ignoring him? A thousand things ran through his mind that he could have done that had nothing remotely to do with jumping the Hyuuga. He began to think of a thousand things he would rather have done that would have gotten Neji to just, you know, knock it off. Over and over he wanted to be one of those super heroes that could turn back time or something and magically undo what he had done.

            And yet… It had been surprisingly _nice_ to lie on top of Neji like that, feel him moving underneath him, responding to him. A wild thought of _had it been Neji or had it been the fact that he's _male? and Naruto shoved the thought away as though it were a snake.

            There had been a moment or two, (could he be sure?) when Naruto was almost sure that Neji really could have gotten away if he had really tried, and Naruto hadn't even held him down _that_ hard. Did Neji want it? But then how to explain that noise Neji had made? It scared Naruto out of his senses.

            So, awesome results, right? He had done it in the first place to get Neji to react, anything would have done right then—a nice violent fight would have been the perfect salve, bruises and maybe even some bleeding and the possible broken bone—Naruto's breath hitched at the thought of the sweet pain… and he rethought the notion.

            But Naruto could have dealt with (hell, would have rejoiced at) anything Neji threw at him, in any case, after Naruto had sufficiently riled him into a state of hostility or at least a state of being _less of a bastard_.

            Anything but that look of complete and utter shock, that stupid lost puppy look that should never ever be seen on Neji Hyuuga's face for any reason whatsoever. It made him go silent inside, with this odd white noise that felt like pursuing waves of static flowing over him and drowning him so slowly that he was still breathing.

            He lay down on his back, breathing in the moist air, feeling his face glisten and his hair stick to his forehead and neck. The only problem with the cave, he mused, was that it was really wet. He hadn't foreseen that. It probably didn't help the whole panicky static wave thing.

            The light outside was dimming, and he could see the red glint of the setting sun filtering through the rush of the waterfall several yards away from his feet. He turned over on his side to watch the light dim with a heavy sigh…

            And he saw a silhouette against the water, shining through. Naruto choked back a scornful laugh at the rainbows that hovered around the rushing water. Some higher being or force was mocking him.

            "Naruto Uzumaki?" asked the muffled voice, still concealed by the white curtain of water.

            He jerked upright. That wasn't Neji. For some reason he felt the wish to sink into himself and never be seen again.

            "Um… Who is it?" He replied, unsure.

            "My name is Hideki. I'm your therapist's assistant," the voice was deep and resonant.

            The man stepped into the cave, now soaking wet. Ah-ha, Naruto thought. So that's what a sex god looks like. He plopped back down on his back, and stared up at the drippy ceiling of the cave.

            "Is that so?" he asked, a little breathless. "What the hell you doing here?" He was disappointed in himself that it held so little of his usual brazenness and just sounded pathetic and… tired.

            "I was ordered to come here every Friday evening and continue with your sessions. I apologize that the therapist you've been seeing is unable to make the journey, but I have been given your file, and as soon as you give me permission, I can take a look at it and we can continue with your therapy," the man knelt down next to Naruto and leaned over him somewhat, to look him in the face.

            Naruto sighed. What a beautiful face, he thought. It somehow made him feel safe that it held little interest for him besides that of aesthetics. It was beautiful to look at, yes, but not to touch, not for Naruto. Not like he had done with Neji, and found himself wanting to do again. This was a beauty beyond Naruto's reach, and he found himself quite accepting of it. The guy would probably be a pain in the ass anyway.

            "Quit talking to me like I'm a mission. I can't stand that," Naruto said, trying and failing yet again to be his usual blaring self. He sighed. Well, maybe tomorrow after he got some sleep.

            The man's eyes widened, and he smiled, recovering quickly.

            "Alright. So, what do you think, Naruto?"

            "Read the file, whatever. I don't care right now. But go away until next week. I'm not in a sharing mood tonight," he put his arm over his eyes in a despairing sort of way and didn't care that it made him look weak.

            "Hm. Have anything to do with that sweet looking guy you've got back at the cabin?" asked Hideki.

            Naruto thought the word "sweet" had never been said so heavily laden with sex before, and it momentarily stunned him.

            "What if it does?" muttered Naruto, suspicious and suddenly not liking Hideki at all.

            "Ooh, what tension," replied Hideki laughingly. "It's alright, I'm not going to steal him from you." He sat back and crossed his legs Indian style, leaning back on his palms. The wet clothes he wore clung to him and showed erect, pert nipples, and Hideki obviously didn't mind that they were visible, face twitching amusedly when Naruto's eyes flicked towards them. Naruto felt an odd laughing angry feeling at the man's blatant vanity. "He's worried about you, you know."

            "What?" Naruto choked. "How do you know??" He demanded, sitting up and looking at the intruder intensely.

            Hideki just laughed lightly again, as though he could see it all so clearly and oh, how fucking amusing it all was.

            "I don't think I even need to read your file, kid. You wear everything you've got on your face."

            Naruto's first instinct was to get indignant and start yelling that I do _not_ you freaking jerk-face and who are you calling a kid, but something in the way Hideki said it pervaded a kind of acceptance, like he didn't care if Naruto did. It was alright.

            "Hmph," said Naruto.

            "He is worried about you, you know. You should apologize. I'm pretty sure he'd forgive you without _too_ much fuss." There was that kind smile again. Perhaps it was something that was passed down from therapist to therapist in a sort of master-apprentice fashion. Whatever, it was… freeing, somehow.

            "You think so?" Naruto almost whispered, pretending not to care with as much bravado as he could muster, but belatedly regretting the crack his voice betrayed.

            "Yep," replied Hideki, still smiling warmly.

            "Maybe I won't have to sleep in the cave after all, then," said Naruto, staring off at the fading orange light, and rising to his feet.

            "Well, good luck," said Hideki. "I'm heading back home. See you next week, Naruto," he gave a friendly mock salute, and disappeared through the rushing white curtain of water.

            "See you," muttered Naruto, feeling a bit more hopeful that he wasn't a _gigantic_ screw-up.

            When he got back to the cabin, he found Neji washing dishes in the sink, a plate set on the table with the rest of the fish, some rice, and some pickled vegetables. The sun was completely down.

            "I already ate," said Neji, as though he could see Naruto's stare from the back of his head. He could, Naruto mused, and walked numbly over to the table. It looked good. He hadn't realized how hungry he was until he was desperately maneuvering the chopsticks to get the final grains of rice in his mouth. Finally sated, he noticed Neji sitting across from him, watching him eat with a carefully schooled expression.

            "Thank you," said Naruto, grinning sheepishly.

            Neji nodded, stilling watching Naruto with that expressionless (wary?) stare.

            "And I'm sorry," he said, averting his gaze. "You know, for before. I… didn't know what I was doing." He scratched the back of his head in obeisance, eyes still averted. "What can I say? I'm a fucked up person. I'm working on it. Just… don't ignore me." He found a surge of energy through the meal, and showed his meaning on his face, meeting Neji's gaze. Naruto's eyes were fierce and nearly feral in appearance. "Just don't. I can't stand it. I won't."

            Neji nodded again, his eyebrow quirking in a way that left Naruto unsure. Was that worry? Anger? Sympathy?

            "In that case, I'm sorry, too," said Neji. He looked off to the side and crossed his arms. Was he pouting? Naruto wasn't sure. "Just… don't ask me why, alright?"

            Naruto nodded.

            So, thought Neji.

            So, thought Naruto.

            What now?

(Alrighty then, here's chapter 6. Just posting it quickly in between homework assignments. I hope you liked it, y'all. Please, oh pretty please, review. It makes me feel that much better and then makes me want to write in spite of how many other things I have to do, and then probably another chapter will come out quicker, if that is indeed what you would like. (smile)

In reply to your review, BoyLoveCuteness, I would really prefer to think that neither is the seme, or as you put it the "masculine" one. I tend to rather dislike thinking about characters in such a restricting binary, i.e. masculine or feminine, way. They're people to me, first and foremost, and they have _human _reactions to things. Does it really matter whether they act in the prescripts that mark a person as properly masculine or properly feminine? I tend not to think so. Anyway. Just a thought that your comment spurred, and there's no problem whatsoever with spurring comments. Those are actually the reviews I like the most. Besides, I'm doing an independent study on Queer Gothic literature, so I'm sort of focused on that topic at the moment anyway. So! thanks for revieiwing! (smile) Until next chapter!

PS! to those who like the smut, definitely expect some in the next chapter! Yaaaaay!)


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